Applying Therapy Techniques to The Self... As A Therapist!

Lately, I've been feeling and behaving in ways I'd prefer not to.

I've been under a lot of pressure at work but, at the perils of my own people pleasing (Or is it narcissism?), I recognise that a lot of the time I want to be seen as great at everything I do... So, I overwork. Due to some of the choices I make, I am not entirely blameless in that situation.

As if to remind me that, however much I please people at work, I will be paid the same, this week I've seen my mortgage statement and learned about a very depressing financial black hole that mortgage lenders use called "amortisation", reminding me that my hard work is more for the benefit of the bank and the tax man than for my own enjoyment.

As a result, I've end up frustrated at how busy I am. I'm giving myself back pain and bad posture with extensive desk and screen time and to compound that problem I'm not getting the time I'd like to do the only body-focussed hobbies I have to release that physical strain - pole dance and yoga.

I long ago gave up on my photography hobby because, even with the time, I just can't find the motivation for going outside in the often miserable British weather.

My family need more from me than usual because we have a family member in hospital with a complex condition.

The combination of weather and cost of living, plus a painful British work ethic and family ties is causing me to behave in a snappy and easily angered way. My partner gets the brunt of my mood even though he does very little wrong and I'm finding myself becoming noisy about my problems everywhere, with friends and colleagues who don't need to hear my moaning... And here I am now, moaning at YOU!

My behaviour and oversharing of low mood is showing the strain. Less patience. A shorter fuse. A sense that even small interruptions are a big problem. I'm no stranger to high stress and busy times, but I don’t want my stress to leak into relationships, conversations, or moments that deserve more care and nurture.

This is something I see often as the therapist too. Many people can clearly identify the stress they’re under, but still find themselves reacting in ways that don’t reflect who they want to be.

So, as a Therapist... Or even just as a person with some knowledge, the will to understand and an eagerness to try...

What can I do to help myself?

I've decided that with so many tools at my disposal, it would be silly not to self-administer (where possible and appropriate) a little bit of a therapeutic intervention. I've designed a 6-week plan, utilising 6 different therapeutic methods to support my own recovery and restoration - and I'd love to share that plan with you, here, upfront and with honesty - to help you, if you would like to use it, and to hold myself to account over the coming weeks.

My plan is:

Phase 1: Stabilise & Decompress (Weeks 1–4)

Purpose: Reduce spill-over, self-attack, and reactive behaviour. 

This phase incorporates four therapeutic methods across the three week period, with the fourth a theme which will appear across all other weeks:

1. CFT: Compassion-Focused Therapy – change how I treat myself in distress

2. NLP: Neuro-Linguistic Programming – update the language I use to describe my situation to myself internally

3. ACT: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy – accepting thoughts and feelings, responding with values-based actions

4. Body-based somatic and yogic work – woven in daily throughout the first three weeks but with a sole focus in the fourth week, aimed to support the physical postural complaints while keeping the mind calm and measured

Phase 2: Understand the Pattern (Week 5)

Purpose: Insight to help with moving forward

This phase continues to utilise the yoga-therapy from week four, but intends to utilise the calmer mind now (hopefully) achieved in the earlier weeks to begin mapping behaviours back to values, to support better understanding of the self and the present and future needs:

5. Adlerian values clarification – Understand my true (current) core values and where my current circumstances or behaviours may be misaligned

Phase 3: Re-author Direction (Weeks 6+)

Purpose: Finding meaning again

This phase takes the values exercise much further and looks to build a meaningful present and future, from the purpose I choose for myself.

6. Logotherapy – Establish meaning and purpose for onwards action

Each week, I will share information about the methods (as named above) and an overview of how I'm implementing them for my own situation. 

At the end of the 6 weeks, I will release the full method with guidance as to how you (regardless of background) may be able to use and apply them to your own circumstances.

If it works, it will be a useful toolkit for my future-self and others.

If it doesn't, I will report back honestly about what didn't work well and my understanding of why.

I've already started on my Week 1, so next week, I'll be explaining more about Compassion-Focussed Therapy (CFT), what it is, where it came from, why it's first in my treatment plan and... How it went!

So, if you'd like to follow along on this journey, you can do so by clicking the button below. Not only will you hear about my experiences as I work through it, for each week that goes well for me, you'll be given the tools and guidance to replicate it for yourself!